We all know that
the first year of a baby’s life can be one of the most worrying as a parent - these little beings depend entirely on us, and they have a lot to learn from us, and we want to be the best parent we can be for them! We want to get things right, and make as few mistakes as possible, and when we get into a mindset like that, we can become very, very anxious about the behaviors our babies sometimes show.
And when we’re in increasingly worrying times, and being a new parent at the same time, worrying over the way your baby behaves is the last thing you need on your plate! So, in the interest of helping you to calm yourself and focus on the good things in your parenting life right now, here is a little bit of advice you might be able to put to good use. You love your baby more than anything else in the world, and they really need you! So let’s make sure you’re not making yourself sick in trying to be there for them.
Remember That Every Baby is Different
It’s true! Every single baby is different, and is going to develop at a different pace and have a different natural temperament to them. Sure, we use milestones to track growth and progress in multiple areas, but there’s nothing to say you need to worry about your baby if they don’t follow these. Babies are just as unique as fully grown adults, and it’s a lot harder for them to adjust to the world around them simply because it’s all so new!
When one baby sleeps soundly and smiles at the sound of your voice, another baby will cry their lungs out, even when you’re holding them and trying to soothe them. Sometimes it’s a medical issue, but a lot of time it’s due to their natural, developing personalities. One baby is going to be a very active and curious little fellow, and another baby is going to be more of a shy and serious little guy - it’s nothing to worry about, it’s just how they are!
It’s also important to note that babies have natural differing
sleeping patterns to one another. If your baby doesn’t sleep through the night, but your neighbor’s does, it can be simply due to how they approach sleeping time. Thankfully, sleeping patterns vary as babies get older, so if your baby doesn’t like to block sleep right now, they might one day!
In getting to know your baby, and how they react to the world around them, you’ll be able to soothe any worries that are flying around your head. Your baby is yours, and they depend on you, so encourage their natural personality out a little more.
Find Out What’s Normal
There are a lot of ‘weird’ baby behaviors that are actually quite normal - we just don’t hear about them a lot because we like to think of having a new baby as a precious and perfect time! However, while you’re enjoying being a new parent, and your baby definitely is precious, they can be complicated to work out as well.
But with the access to doctors, as well as being able to log onto the internet whenever you want to, it’s easier than ever to find out why your baby is doing something, and whether or not you need to worry about it. And while you’re keeping in mind that every baby is different and develops at their own little pace, you’re still feeling a little weird about a certain thing your baby does on a regular basis.
Maybe they cry more than you think they should? Babies are known to cry, and cry a lot, as it’s the only way they can communicate with the world around them. Whether they’re hungry, tired, cold, over or understimulated, or simply want you around, they’re going to cry! If you’ve noticed that your baby tends to stop crying whenever you respond, it’s a good sign that your baby knows and trusts you, and you’ve really got nothing to worry about.
Maybe your baby seems to be behind every other baby you know? Stick to your guns here; your baby has their own temperament, and will hit milestones in their own, good time. Of course, if you’ve spoken to a doctor and they’ve told you that your baby’s seemingly slow progress is nothing to worry about, everything is well and good!
However, you may be able to encourage your baby a little more here; for example, you can
help your baby crawl, if they’re reaching the 9 month mark and are good at rocking or bouncing themselves but haven’t quite made the transition yet. Seeing as they recognise you as their parent, you can help to give them a bit more confidence and/or the right technique to follow here.
Talk to Other New Moms
If you’ve got some new mom friends around you, be sure to get on the phone to them when you’re worried about your baby, or when you can’t seem to stop worrying about your baby. When you’ve got other parents to rely on, who you both know and trust, you’re going to be in a much healthier place for soothing the worry you’re feeling about your little one. After all, you’re all in the same boat, and you can share and share alike when it comes to both tips and tricks, and worries and potential issues. It’ll certainly show you that you’re not in this situation alone!
You can also talk to moms who have 3 or 4 year olds, as they’ll have a lot more knowledge that might be very useful to you right now. They’ve been through the difficult early years, and they have the ‘scars’ to prove it, and they definitely used to worry about the same things you’re worrying about right now! They can show you that these worries are unfounded, or not serious, and that negative, recurring thoughts do, in fact, pass. One day you’ll be in their position, and you might end up feeling a bit silly about how much you worried right now, so it’s good to have this perspective on your side early on.
However, if you don’t have any friends who are new or young moms, be sure to join a mommy group online - you can find them both across social media and specialised websites, you’ve just got to know
where to find them! Don’t be afraid to reach out like this; even just posting a general query on the group’s page can bring all kinds of helpful responses back to you, and help you to feel included and valid at a very stressful time in your life.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
Asking for help is something a lot of new parents think they’re not allowed to do. After all, if you were willing to bring a new life into this world, you have to be willing to look after them no matter what, right? Come good or bad, you’re the one in charge, and you need to have your head screwed on - surely that’s how it works? Well, not exactly!
It’s often said that it takes a village to raise a child, and when it comes to being a parent for the first time (even when you were prepared to be one and also really wanted to be one!), you’ll really come to understand this saying. Which is why it’s key to remember: you’re allowed to ask for help when you’re worried about your baby, or when you’re worried about how worried you are during this time.
Worry can very soon turn into anxiety, which can soon develop into
an anxiety disorder. And when you’re living with a condition like this, you definitely need to reach out to other people. From doctors and therapists to friends and family, get in touch with people and tell them what you’re feeling and thinking. Make sure they’re aware of what’s going on in your head, and in your life, and let yourself depend on them a little more.
The Takeaway Here:
If you’re a new mom, and you’re a bit of a worry-wart, make sure you know if your worries are unfounded or not. You’ve got a lot of options on your plate here, and you’ve always got a chance to do a bit of research to inform yourself a bit more - fear of the unknown can be the scariest thing!
You and your baby deserve to have a good first year together. Don’t let your worries get in the way, and make sure you’re reaching out and seeking help when things get really tough. Being a new mom doesn’t mean you need to be a superhero!
